It is done…

Said the creepy man in the horror film… Moo ah ha hahah…

I did it. 4 Shows in a month. January 31st through February 19th, I got up onstage and did my funny thing. Overall it was a success. My god! You’re kidding me!?!?!? Last night’s show – open mic at Cafe Espresso Bueno. It was a small but appreciative crowd and the folks were funny. Thanks to Espresso Bueno and Soshanna for hosting us!.

This week I’ve decide to start collecting funny sounding words and phrases. I share this week’s with you here:

  1. Wiffenpoof
  2. Whiply Weedlash (aka Sniedly Whiplash)
  3. Toxic Tickledicks
  4. Venomous Plot Garglers
  5. Gardyloo! (Exclamation required)

To explain…The Whiffenpoofs, and acapella group from Yale will be performing in Montpelier, Barre and I think at the Flynn this week… Gotta say that several times… Wiffenpoofs, Poofinwiffs (gives another whole connotation, doesn’t it?) My sister was trying and couldn’t for the life of her remember Sniedly Whiplash’s correct name the other day. All she could come up with was Whiply Weedlash? Weedly Sneidlash? WTF is his name, Kim?! While in the other room, her boyfriend as going “It’s Sniedly Whiplash!” And the 3rd and 4th on the list come froms that old chestnut, Chuck Wendig. These are a couple of insults he was throwing out to the losers at Huffington post who were bragging that they don’t pay their authors on their blogs  because, and I paraphrase here, divorced of money their bloggers’ posts are ‘more authentic’ because they WANT to write. Assholes. And finally, Gardyloo! Is a term used in Ireland when someone would throw the fillings of their bedpan out the window. Originally in French: “garde à l’eau! look out for the water!”

So with that in mind, I go out in search for more interesting words and etymologies to entertain myself and you! If you have any cool words you’re enamoured with, give a shout out in the comments section below.

“May the funny be with you”

Last one in this series…

OK – Weather and sign-up success depending, I’ll be at Cafe Bueno on Friday: Open Mic: Stroke Yer Joke: Cafe Esspresso Bueno, Main Street, Barre, 8pm Friday, February 19th (free).  This is a great venue for you to just come see some fun comedians. Good food. Good Chai. Or coffee. Great audiences.

& Just for fun, here’s a shot of the Hunter’s Chorus from my short musical, “Man versus Squirrel” – One of many great shots taken by Bill Kneen for us. 

Great shot of me and the gals with Bill Pelton at TenFest 2015

Up to the Big City Tonight…

I’ll be trying to grab 5 minutes of fame tonight by showing up to the Vermont Comedy Club’s Open Mic at 7 pm. (Well, I’ll be there earlier to guarantee a spot for myself)Kim Contemplates. I’ve been trimming and honing my material, worrying about what to wear, and timing my stuff. Can’t wait! (to get it over with… she mumbles)

Tonight, I’ll be discussing the hot mess of why I feel like a man in drag when I wear a dress, what the fun toys are my dad’s Catholic side of the family got that my mom’s New England Protestant side did NOT, and who knows, perhaps the strange way my great grandfather decided to try and stop his first real Ford truck when he got home drunk from a barn dance and forgot he WASN’T in his wagon, with a horse that could stop for him…

But seriously, it’s a big step for me to even try to do material in Burlington, which I hear is a younger, hipper crowd – and tougher.

Break a belly… a larynx… a leg, right?!

“49+ and a Hot Mess…”

imageSo, Open Mic at the American Legion Hall is next. I survived my round with the Not-so-surprise Roast of Bob Thomas. I think all in all I did the job. Not a high points scoring night but no big fouls either (and I’m not a huge sports fan, so it must be the proximity of the Super Bowl that has me using  sports metaphors tonight) I stuck to roasting Bob, made some good moments of laughter, got off stage when I started to run out of steam without making too much of a mess.

I’ve been thinking a lot about turning 50 in May. When I was young (say 11 or so) I used to think “The year, 2001! What will that be like? Will I even be ALIVE?!” In that innocent way we think that someone who is in their 30s is OLD… So, my stand up is beginning to form around some themes… Oldness… Single Oldness (isn’t that called being a spinster?) hormones, failures, missed opportunities and crushed dreams, health issues and colonoscopies. All in all, I’ve been thinking if I ever GET the point of having a full night’s show, I’ll call it “Hot Mess” because, let’s face it, there’s a reason when my whole family saw the first Ice Age movie ads they immediately said, “Hey, Scrat! That’s you, Kim!” As the prehistoric squirrel scrambled around desperately trying to catch his ever bouncing acorn.

So if you wanna hear me talk about what it’s like – you know, for ME – to get old – come to the open mic tomorrow night.

Open Mic: Laugh Local, VT: American Legion Hall, Main Street, Montpelier, 8pm, Friday February 5th (Donations at the door).